It’s been a little over a year since Norina came home for hospice, and tomorrow will be one year since her passing. We’ve been hearing from people more lately, so we know we’re not the only ones affected by this anniversary. It’s helpful knowing other people who loved Norina are remembering her and thinking of us around this time. It’s sweet to share, and comforting to feel less alone missing Norina. Some people have told us that they still look at pictures on this website, so we’re glad it’s still here (thanks again, Emilly).
In a way it’s strange that it’s been a year already; it feels like yesterday that we were here caring for her, and also like a lifetime ago… People have shared dreams or experiences in which they’ve sensed Norina’s presence, sometimes very powerfully. We’ve had some of these beautiful experiences, too. They’ve all had in common Norina completely at ease, light, even joyful. The year has been sprinkled throughout with the amazing sweetness of these experiences. And, of course, it’s also been so hard at times… we miss her constantly and profoundly, more than there are words for.
Last year in the Background section of this site I wrote that Norina’s response to the news from her doctor after her final MRI was concern only for us – amazing. I found myself assuring her that, though I didn’t know how, we would be ok. Later I came to realize that with those words I had made an important promise. What came so easily for the purpose of reassuring her in that dread-filled/grace-filled moment has come back to help me so many times since. I can feel Norina gently, but powerfully, holding us to this promise.
Gratitude, I’ve discovered, has been my key to living with this loss. I’m grateful that in the moments of deepest grief I can still remember to be consciously grateful for all that life brings without separating the gifts from the pain, holding it all combined together, with love. It’s been astonishing sometimes, how these moments of remembering my gratitude can bring immediate profound relief and comfort.
Lastly, the wonderful family news: Lee and Ayla’s darling little son was born on June 19 this year ~ Lev Naor Miller! Lev is Hebrew for heart. His parents named him for his Auntie Norina: Norina and Naor have related meanings of light, and Naor has the further meaning of a person who is a beacon or guiding light in one’s life. Lev Naor translates to enlightened heart, and our Israeli friends tell us that it is a very poetic name in Hebrew. Lev is a sweet, calm, adorable little baby and – it goes without saying – we’re all head-over-heels for him already.
All of the love and support from friends and family helps us with meeting each day as it comes. Thank you so much for remembering Norina with us.
With love, Terra